A ghost, or even less than that (Alice)

[The Spectre]

The spectre existed, that was all it was sure about, and although this might not sound like much, it is a great deal better than being sure that you don’t exist. If you were to ask it who it was (although it could be more accurate to ask who it had been, or even who it was going to be), it wouldn’t be able to answer you. Admittedly this was because the spectre had no physical form, and therefore no lips with which it could answer you with, however even if you had a way to communicate with it, there was very little about its identity that it could recall in its current form. It merely existed, and that was enough for the moment.

Unfortunately, the spectre was fairly sure that the moment was very quickly slipping away from them. It couldn’t be sure of this, after all I’ve already said that the only thing it was sure of was that it existed, however it had a terrible suspicion that in its current state it wouldn’t exist for much longer. This was naturally quite distressing for the spectre (or at least as distressing as it is possible to be for something that has no idea of who, or even what it is). It may only be a little thing, but existing was all that the spectre had at the moment, and thus it was rather keen to not lose its existence and become nothing. It couldn’t be sure, but the spectre felt that being nothing would be worse than existing, even when it existed in a form that barely existed at all.

And so the spectre was following its instincts and trying to find a way to continue existing, not that it had any idea how this could be accomplished. It would have been a great deal of help in this situation if the spectre had been aware of how it had come to be in the first place, but that would have required the spectre to know what it was, which unfortunately it didn’t. It wasn’t even sure how long it had been like this for (time had very little meaning when all you knew for certain was that you existed). The only thing it was aware of other than its own existence was its surroundings (for these were not part of the spectre itself), and it had found that it was able to drift from place to place if the fancy struck it. It was yet to encounter anyone else, but that was mainly because it had so far not drifted outside of the confines of the forest it occupied.

On this particular day (not that the spectre had any awareness of what day it was, or even that there were days for it to be one of), the spectre was aimlessly drifting along beside a stream. If someone were too look directly at it then they’d almost be able to see that something was there if they concentrated, but it would resemble more of a heat haze than anything else. As usual it was pondering its own existence, and whether there was any truth to this feeling that its existence might be slowly fading away.

[Alice Liddell]

A young girl was wandering alone through a rather deep and disconcertingly dark forest. She seemed to be slightly alarmed at this fact, for she was hurrying down the pathway, clearly eager to find a way out.

“Oh dear,” muttered Alice Liddell, pausing for a moment at an unmarked fork in the road, “why, I doubt I’ll ever get out of this place.” She sighed, looking around for some indication of which path was the right one. The left path seemed to lead even deeper into the forest and looked most unpleasant. Alice shuddered, picturing all sorts of imagined creatures and dangers leaping out at her. The right path on the other hand was much lighter, and if she wasn’t mistaken the forest seemed to be thinning out in that direction.

“Thank goodness,” she stated, beginning to almost skip away down the right fork, “there’s no question really.” Alice continued on down the path, unfortunately after barely a moment it twisted around alarmingly, the trees becoming denser and denser until almost no light at all penetrated the canopy. Alice was alarmed to find herself in near-darkness so quickly. She turned back, intending to retrace her steps, however found that she’d inadvertently arrived at another crossroads, and had no idea which path was the one she’d come down. She chose another direction at random, quickly hurrying along it until she reached the bank of a small, forest spring.

“I’m not sure I like this forest,” mused Alice regretfully, idly sitting down on the bank for a brief rest.

[The Spectre]

The spectre sensed the girl’s presence before it saw her; the aura of pure life that radiated off her was like an irresistible beacon drawing it in. As the girl drew closer, the feeling that its existence was slowly slipping away seemed to fade away, and for the first time strange, disjointed details about who it had been began to flicker in its mind (or at least what counted as a mind for something with no existence). There was something to do with earth, and to do with light, and then the light went out and there was nothing. By the time the girl actually appeared from between the trees the spectre had pieced enough together to know one thing: it had to get closer to that life.

As the girl sat down on the bank of the stream, the spectre slowly but surely drifted towards her, the focus that was returning to its mind making this task far easier than it had ever been before (at least, as it had ever been in this form). The spectre rather doubted that it would have made any difference who had wandered into the clearing; there was simply a source of life before it and the spectre knew it couldn’t afford to let this chance slip away. The girl was just unfortunate really.

With one final burst of effort the spectre closed the distance between them and pounced, tendrils of whatever the spectre was composed of locking onto the girl’s eyes (the life energy seemed to be located just behind these). The spectre began to channel itself into her, feeling its own being momentarily pushing whoever this girl was aside.

[Alice Liddell]

(My apologies for the poor quality of this post; it's pretty late here.)

Alice wasn’t quite sure what was happening, however she could tell that it was very bad indeed. Out of the corner of her eye she’d seen what seemed to be a faint heat haze moving towards her. This had seemed like very curious behaviour for a heat haze, not that she was claiming to be an expert on the subject, however at the time she had paid it no heed. After all, even if a heat haze could move towards you, it wasn’t like it could do anything once it got there. Truth be told, she wasn’t even sure what a heat haze was; she had simply had one pointed out to her by her sister in the past.

The first sign that something adverse was happening to her was a slight itch she felt around her eyes. She tried to scratch this discomfort, however had been alarmed to find that her arms simply refused to move no matter how much she tried. Goodness gracious, is what she would have said had her mouth been working, unfortunately it seemed that at this moment in time her body was not hers to control.

How very curious, thought Alice to herself, why, I suppose I must look rather like one of my own dolls sat here unable to move like this. She was attempting to use this amusing notion to distract herself from what was going on, however at that moment a rush of memories that she was fairly sure weren’t her own began to rush into her mind at an overpowering speed. Alice was barely able to register the flashing images of flowers, sea shells and cliffs which were speeding past her, and after a few seconds of disorientation her mind finally gave up the effort, causing her to black out.

[The Spectre]

For a few seconds the spectre felt the girl’s mind resisting, and almost got buffeted back by the onslaught of her memories that came pouring back along the connection. Whoever this girl was, she clearly had an exceedingly strange and powerful mind, however after only a moment or so the shock of what was happening seemed to overwhelm her and all resistance faded. Taking care not to damage the mind of its host, the spectre quickly spread throughout the girl’s mind and took over it, all knowledge of who it was, had been, and hopefully would be again soon returning in a rush.

“Well now,” began the spectre as she rose to her feet, moving slowly at first as she got used to controlling this new body, “I haven’t been this young for a long time.” She slowly leant over the stream beside her, examining her new form in the image reflected on the water. Had she really been this short back when she was a child? It was very hard for her to imagine even as she was now. Ideally the spectre would have preferred to not be a blonde, but she could hardly afford to be picky given the circumstances. Still, it couldn’t be denied that she was now every bit the picture of a normal little girl, minus the brightly glowing eyes of course.

“Hmm,” mused the spectre darkly, blinking a few times to see if that would rid her of the vexing glow, “someone’s bound to notice that.” She sighed, stepping away from the water and starting off into the forest. The girl’s memories that had flashed before her seemed to indicate that she’d been lost before reaching the stream. Fortunately the spectre was very familiar with this forest (now that she had her mind back of course), and quickly set off towards the forest edge.

[Alice Liddell]

When Alice awoke it only took her a few seconds to realise that she hadn’t really woken at all. Oh she was certainly conscious, she wouldn’t have been able to think this train of thought were she not, however she was not in any control of her own mind. Clearly whatever that strange force had been it had taken her over, for if she concentrated she was able to see what was going on through her eyes (she didn’t maintain this connection for too long though; the sensation of moving like that without choosing to was rather disorientating).

“Oh dear,” said Alice morosely, “I really do wish such strange things weren’t always happening to me.” She didn’t actually mean this, after all it was her opinion that it was far better to lead a curious life than a dull one, however at this point she was purely focused on her immediate situation rather than any long-term ramifications of her words. It was at this moment that a rather important thought suddenly struck Alice. She wasn’t controlling her body (that much was clear), so where exactly was she now? Her surroundings seemed to resemble a small cottage, however there was a distinct lack of definition to the scene around her (it was this detail that had first tipped her off that this scene wasn’t real).

“If someone else is using my conscious mind,” began Alice slowly, repeating the term she’d sometimes heard her sister use and was only half convinced she understood properly, “then I suppose I must be in the place where dreams come from!” Her musings were suddenly interrupted by the sound of weeping coming from the other side of the room. Alice looked up in surprise, and for the first time noticed that there was another little girl, perhaps a few years younger than her, curled up in the far corner.

“And if I’m my own dream,” continued Alice doubtfully (speaking her conclusions aloud like this made them sound very strange indeed), “then I suppose this must be the dream of whatever is controlling me.” Of course, if this little girl was indeed the force possessing her, then she was clearly very dangerous and should be left alone. Then again... enemy or not it didn’t feel right to leave someone crying like that. Besides, trying to reason with her captor’s mind like this was probably her best chance of escaping.

“Excuse me!” called out Alice, raising her voice in an attempt to get the girl’s attention, “I’m sorry to bother you, but are you alright?”

[The Spectre]

After only a few minutes of walking the spectre reached the edge of the forest, emerging out into the sunlight. The first hints of spring were beginning to make themselves known, and for a moment she was taken aback at the warmth, having been devoid of sensation for so long that even this simple thing was almost overpowering.

“It’ll be even better when I’m myself again,” stated the spectre to herself as she stepped away from the trees, “all I need to do is find the right people.” She could see a very familiar city on the horizon, in which with any luck she’d find a way to restore her own body and let this girl go free again. The spectre may have been willing to temporarily possess the child, but that didn’t mean she wanted to harm her, in fact she’d made a mental note to make it up to her at a later date if she ever encountered her again. Before long she reached the long bridge that served as the city’s main gate and set off across it, keeping her head down so that her glowing eyes wouldn’t attract attention, and unaware of the scene that was playing out within her own subconscious.

***

The little girl looked up as she heard a friendly voice call out, tear-filled eyes making it difficult to properly focus on the other girl in the room.

“Where did you come from?” she asked between sobs, still shaking with grief even as she got to her feet, “you shouldn’t be here. Mother will be... will be mad.” The negative memories that this simple statement had brought up for the girl were too much for her and she stumbled back, hitting the wall with a bump before collapsing onto the walls again. Although Alice didn’t know it, she had been quite correct in her assumptions. This was indeed the spectre’s subconscious mind before her, more specifically the inner child at this point.

[Alice Liddell]

Alice blinked in surprise as the little girl fired a couple of questions at her, momentarily taken aback by her words. It hadn’t occurred to her that the subconscious mind of the person possessing her wouldn’t know who she was, however now that she thought about it there was some sense to it. After all, it wasn’t like dreams paid that close attention to what was going on reality.

“I wish I could tell you where I came from,” replied Alice, slowly taking a step towards the girl, “but I’m afraid it isn’t really clear to me.” She paused as the girl began to wail about her mother, momentarily forgetting that none of this was real and looking around in alarm for some severe figure who would chastise her for her presence. All caution was abandoned however as the girl collapsed in tears once again, and Alice quickly rushed to her side in an attempt to offer a comforting presence.

“Please don’t cry,” murmured Alice as she crouched beside the girl, “I know things may seem bad at the moment, but crying about them won’t do any good.” Her own words seemed distinctly awkward to her, however they were the best that she could come up. Alice had never been particularly good at consoling others when they were upset, not that would ever stop her from trying to. She placed a comforting hand on the girl’s shoulder, dearly hoping that the flood of tears would stop soon. After all, the last time that Alice had cried this much she’d regretted it very soon after, although admittedly there seemed to very little risk of anyone drowning in this situation.

“I’m Alice,” she added, hoping that the girl would be distracted from whatever was upsetting her, “Please, do cheer up.”