Post by Tiana on Feb 6, 2011 16:55:27 GMT -5
RON'S RANT BOOK!
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Commin' at ya totally live, from my awesome arithmetic book! In here I'm pretty much just gonna rant about everything that I wanna rant about so like read away if your interested! Comments welcome!
A Boo. Yah![/ul]
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Thursday Sept 10th
8:45pm
RE: Pants Malfunction
Okay seriously Wade, why can't you like design y'know a grappling thingymajig which doesn't like totally
Which brings me onto another ish I have with Wades gear! Okay, so your havin serious chapping issues on the lips and you ask your
put a warning on these things 'kay![/size]
[side note from Wade: There IS a warning on them Ron]
[side note from Ron: Well, make it bigger and like yellow or somethin]
[side not from Wade: Dude, its too small for a huge yellow sign]
Okay that's it from me for now tomorrow's rant: Monkey Ninjas! AAAH!
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Friday September 11th
7:00pm
Okay, so I know this was suppost to be about Monkey Ninjas (AAAHH!) But I have a way more importante(Mexican dude! I'm learnin!) ish to get off my (manly) chest.
RE: GIRLS. AND. PHONES.
Okay okay so I'm
...Okay so Rufus says 4pm so I've been callin her since 4 and el recivo-no answer-o so WHO is she talkin too? Okay so normally y'know in a sitch like this we blame the parental units but:
A. Drs P have Cells for like EVERYTHING
B. the Tweebs are either like too young or too dangerous.. y'know can't remember which and that brings us to
C. KP has her own line so the only person on the line is Kim DUH!
So if its not me, Monique or the rentals WHO THE HECK IS SHE TALKIN TO? Now given recent like events, this can only
ANSWER: Josh...Mankey...
He's totally mackin on my free time with Kim! Now I know, people will say I'm jealous. HA? Jealous...Um yah right! I'm only lookin out for my buds best interests and crushin on Mankey can have no good come of it! Sure he's a good lookin guy see:
...not too shabby in the face department Mr Mankey but guys like Mankey come with excess chickage and chicks go crazy when it comes to us dudes so I ask you this...
WHY IS KP ON THE PHONE WITH MANKEY WHEN I'M SUFFERIN SERIOUS NACHO WITHDRAWAL??? KP GET OFF THE PHONE ALREADY!
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Saturday September 12th
01:00PM
Okay, okay so 'cause Mankey totally killed my Nacho plans with KP yesterday...stupid highlighted chick magnet... I spent the night callin her and did ZERO work for the Algerbra test on Monday, great huh? He steals my bud and now my brain time too... anyway so
RE: ALGEBRA: What is the point?
Discuss...
Okay so we got some numbers yeah? but soon, the numbers just aren't enough so some smart ass Maths guy is all like 'so how can we make the counting thing more complicated? how about we bring LETTERS into it?' Letters! Seriously isn't that what English is for? Obviously not! Numbers aren't enough for Mr Maths guy so he invents this thing called Al-ge-bra yeah
So we quikipedia the name and BOOM: "Algebra is the branch of mathematics concerning the study of the rules of operations and the things which can be constructed from them, including terms, polynomials, equations and algebraic structures. Together with geometry, analysis, combinatorics, and number theory, algebra is one of the main branches of pure mathematics"
Okay Re-wind WHAT? What the heck dose that mean? So you
1. I don't understand and
2. has stupid names for things that I can't even say?
Major suck factor man! So I flick through this text book and WHOA WHERE'S THE NUMBERS GONE? This Alge-whatever guy has totally changed the face of Math! X = 10x the route of Z! WHAT THE HECK DOES THAT MEAN??? How is this gonna help me in life man, sure Wade might need it but me? Seriously do I look like the kinda dude whose gonna use these..Algebraic combinatorics (WTF?) in the future? Answer = NOT IN HADES MAN! Seriously its all Greek to me! So I tag KP at home this mornin and she is totally strung out on Y times the route of Mankey! I ask can I steal her Homework for two minutes, she...giggles! WHAT? Kim Possible does NOT giggle. Ever! This can only mean one thing:
ALGEBRA ATE KPs BRAIN!!!!
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Wednesday Sept...er 23!
11:33 PM
Okay Okay! Yeah I know I havent updated this in like...I dunno a week or somthin but seriously, rant time has been hard to come by lately, there is noooo time for rantage, its...well just plain freaky... anyway so me and KP just got back from a mish uh-huh and I'm totally sufferin from the funkay factor...F.Y.I falling into a GIANT vat of STAAAANKY socks is not fun...yeah Drakkens plans just keep gettin weirder and weirder...so anyway, she calls in afavour from Britina again WHO by the way is H.O.T hot and I'm totally stinkin the jet out! So Britina...yeah teen popstar, go figure...lets me use her 'private shower' yeaah thats right The RonMan took a shower with Britina...on the other side of the totally opaque door but still BRITINA! So I'm in the shower and thers a whole range of cosmetics on the shelf so tonight's Rant:
RE: GIRLS. AND. SHOWER STUFF.
Seriously Why do chicks have like a million different shampoos, gels and whatever the heck else they can fit into a shower cubicle? Do they really need all that stuff, I mean look, dose it seriously...y'know matter weather you use watermelon shower gel instead of Cherry? No cause F.Y.I NO ONE with any sane mind will walk on up to ya in the Middleton mall and SNIFF. YOUR. ARM. to debate what fruit you smell like today. Imagine it 'kay: 'hey there ma'am may I sniff you? Are you using Strawberry or Lemon today?' and whilst we're on the subject WHY FRUIT? Why not I dunno, animals y'know or baked goods? Guys, have ya ever seen cake-scented shower gel ANYWHERE?
So anyway I'm totally rockin Britina's shower (YEAH BRITINA'S SHOWER!) and she has like a million different skin products to choose from so I start to freak out, I mean which should I use? Will strawberry make me smell slutty? Y'know its a 'get-around fruit' evrybodaaay wants piece of that strawberry luuuurve and Is Lemon too off putting? Yknow cause its that kinda, sour 'EAT-ME-IF-YOU-DARE' fruit or is Kiwi the one for me? I start to think like a girl, it must be the different colors or somethin, man they are BRIGHT, cause it totally warps my manly miiiind! So to avoid the whole weird girl-brain ish, I decide not to use shower gel and just go with plain old soap but I look down and AAAHHHH there's like 10 different fruit flavored soaps, not just any soaps my friends, MINI soaps in front of me, so I panic, fall over, smack my head on the shelf which HOLDS the shower gel I just avoided and knock myself out for like 2 whole minutes! So then I give up on soap and go for shampoo but WHOA! there's another 50 of those to choose from AND just to make it complicated, conditioner comes into the mix! WHAT THE HECK AM I SUPPOST TO DO! Do I use the strawberry shampoo AND conditioner or the coconut ones? While I'm at it do I actually need to use the set OR can I mix and match? Complications arise, I panic again and end up banging on the door!
I can't ask Britina what to use cause you know shes Britiiiiina teen idol and total hottie and I can't ask KP cause...well that's just weird comin from me so in the end I close my eyes and grab the nearest bottle. UBER ROOKIE MISTAKE MAN! Out of the millions of fruity crap she has lined up, perfectly! might I add, On the shelf I PICK UP HER DOG'S FLEA SHAMPOO! Now I smell like I've just walked out of a vat of sterilizing fluid, its smells worse then the socks and to just make things plain worse, now I'm MISSING A CHUNK OF HAIR cause I had an allergic reaction to the stuff! So my words of wisdom for tonight:
Fellow dudes...If a chick offers to let you use her shower SAY NO AND RUN AS FAR AWAY AS YOU TOTALLY CAN, no good
Am I serious? NOTE. SERIOUS. FACE.
[side note from Kim: Ron, don't be such a baby, its SO was not that bad!]
[side note from Ron: HEY, you were not in there KP! You didn't feel the fear]
[side note from Kim: Freeze Ron, don't be such a drama king]
[side note from Ron: I'm all 'bout the drama KP! It was S-c-a-r-y]
[side note from Kim: oOoooh I give up...]
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Wednesday October 7th
9:17pm
Okay so yeah once again I haven’t up dated in like…a million years or something but hey Not.My.Fault. Anyway. So today we had to call a cab in cuz KP has TOTALLY used up all her current ground favours, I say current cuz y’know she’ll probs have a new one tomorrow…y'know its a Kim thing...she has like a couple of guys in the plane biz but the latest mish was in Lowerton so not real plane worthy, anyway. We would have totally gotten their way faster, not to mention safer AND cheaper if we’d taken my scooter! (Cause my scooter ROCKS! doesn’t get past like 10mph but hey, still rocks!) So yeah today’s rant
RE: BAD. DRIVERS
Ok, so. I’ve NEVER suffered from road rage EVER until today, seriously guys I’m now like, I dunno 2 inches taller then I was yesterday just from the driver guys TOTALLY UNCALLED FOR BREAKAGE, I swear it was like bein strapped, to y’know one of those mediaeval (sp?) torture things, one minute your strapped in by the seatbelt, all nice and snug y’know, and the next: WHOA I TOTALLY JUST SAW MY LIFE FLASH BEFORE MY EYES. Yeah sucks right? Dudes and Dudettes, you do not KNOW the half of it! So we’re cruisin through Middleton at a smooth 30 and the suddenly the guy hits one fifty on the speedometer and I’m launched backwards into my set SO fast that I swear I can taste my eyeballs. FYI…Slimy is SO not satisfying KP is all like ‘Hey, what’s the sitch?’ and driver guy goes ‘cops on my tail’ so HELLOOO! Alarm bells start ringing, WHY? Why…are the cops on this guys tail? So I start to get y’know just that little bit suspicious and then, Boom! One fifty and whoa! Hey, there’s my eyeballs again.
Clearly this driver guys is TOTALLY satan in disguise (Hello Halloween around the corner anyone?) and his only goal?: TOTAL. MAJOR. SOUL STEALAGE! So I’m all ‘Bad Road Kim, Bad Road, so bad a road that it doesn’t even end in this state!’ and she’s just NOT phased at all, the way KP sees it: Guy must have a reason for the cops right? Answer: NO! No Kim. You do not need a reason fro cops on your tail unless your…I dunno umm a Car jacker maybe? Mass murderer huh? Convicted felon, Illegally in the country, Evil genius bent on world destruction… I’m just launchin a few out there kay? Anyway so I'm getin ZERO careage from KP so I sit back into my new Ron shaped Upholstery dint and then driver guy unlocks the back doors and goes ‘Ready to roll kids? Get out!’(Felon? TOTALLY) lets review okay: we’re in a cab floorin it down the Lowerton freeway at one fifty. There’s cops on our tail, on one side of the road there’s a barbed wire fence, sheer drop on the other (Yeah there’s a reason it’s called ‘Lowerton’) and the guy tells us we gotta jump the cab whilst it’s still moving at said speed AND live! WHOA! WHOA! REWIND AND FREEZE DRIVER DUDE!
So I look over at KP and hey would ya look at that, she’s already half out the door! HALF! Not just opening the door, not even a little bit out, in the three seconds it took the driver guy to speak KP is HALF out the door HALF! So hey I got no choice but to follow right? Dudes, I should have stayed in the cab an got arrested instead man I now hurt in SO many places that I don’t even know whats broken anymore
Seriously guys never ever ever EVER! Trust a cabbie lest you loose your mind ‘kay! I am OUT!
BOO YAH
OW!
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Saturday Nov 7th
5:15 PM
Okay so yeah I fail at keeping an updated rant book but hey, can’t say I’ve had much ta rant ‘bout recently huh Rufus? Until today! Okay so y’know when you’re just randomly walkin down the street huh? Maybe I dunno to Bueno Nacho - or y’know general shopping if you’re a chick – well you know when there’s like couple in front of ya? Boy/Girl type thing? And they just totally stop dead in the MIDDLE – y’know, not even considerate enough to step aside for the passers by - the MIDDLE of the street and start feelin each other up right in front of ya eyes? Well today’s’ rant:
RE: COUPLES. IN. PUBLIC.
Okay okay, so maybe I dunno I’m outta line with this y’know cuz of like my relationship lackage. F.Y.I Not my fault ‘kay? But dude GET A ROOM ALREADY! I do not wanna see you and ya girl all over each other in the middle of the street man…actually in the middle of anywhere, when I’m about ta go eat! It’s sick and wrong and should TOTALLY be saved for the bedroom! Y’know bedroom, Boudoir, Chambre as in: that place where no one else can see you…y’know! El Dormitorio.
Why must you pollute my - or anybody else’s - eyes with your smoochyness? Seriously man, even if its just for the benefit of us single peeps out here, if you HAVE to do it, find a hotel, y’know those places where you can hire out a PRIVATE room or at least take it to the alleyway if ya must, where less people can see you at it man, seriously there’s like kids around y’know what are ya tryin ta do? Scar them for life JEEZ!
Totally inconsiderate…Right Rufus?
Oy…[/blockquote]
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